Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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