I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
