Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
