sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
