All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
