to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
