Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
