Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
