Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize