yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
