How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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