i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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