When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
