the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
