Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
