Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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