wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
