I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
