Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize