I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
