I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize