So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
