He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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