Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
