if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
