A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
