Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
