Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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