And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
