woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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