I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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