im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
