im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
