Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
