I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
