hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
