soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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