i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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