Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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