your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
