I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
only you would photoshop your dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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