therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What did we do last night that was yellow?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
