The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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