Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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