at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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