I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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