Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can tuck mytits in my pants
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize