I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
