she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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