The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
