Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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