Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
