arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
