On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
