Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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