I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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