So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Fuck appropriateness.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
